book review

My latest book is one of the most upsetting I have ever read, Mugabe and the White African is the story of a White Zimbabwean farmer and his family standing up to the Zimbabwean government in an effort to remain on thier farm an in their homes.

It tells tales of abuse of power, corruption, greed and downright sickening evil.

It is not especially well written and the Author, Ben Freeth peppers the text with somewhat naive religous zeal, but you can't help but admire Mr Freeth and the rest of their family for the stand they took and as such I applaud them.

I thoroughly recomend that everyone reads this book but add the caveat that it will upset you, especially if you have a heart.

Another Message from Gavin Barwell

Dear Mr Bunny Chow,

My apologies for sending you yet another email - this will be the last one for a few weeks I promise.  I just wanted to update you on three issues.

Supporting the town centre

I’m delighted to see that the Council, the car park operators, the shopping centres and individual retailers are repeating last weekend’s offers to encourage people to come and shop or eat out in Croydon town centre over the Bank Holiday weekend.  Parking on-street is free and you can park all day in any of the multi-storey car parks for just £2.  In addition, there are lots of special offers and lots of family entertainment laid on.  For all the information, go to http://www.croydontowncentre.com/offers.html.

So come into the town centre this weekend.  If we want Croydon to recover we need to support it, not shop in Bromley or Bluewater.  Please forward this message to your neighbours and friends in the Croydon area.

In the long term, of course, people are only going to come into the town centre if they feel safe and if the parking charges are reasonable.  That’s why I’m campaigning for the current policing levels to be maintained and for a permanent cut in the parking prices in the multi-storey car parks.

Improving street lighting across the borough

On Wednesday I was up in Corbett Close, New Addington to see the first of what will be thousands of new streetlights installed.  Croydon and Lewisham Councils have formed a partnership with the construction and development company Skanska, who will take over the day to day responsibility for the maintenance of our street lighting network.  Over the first five years of the contract, they will be replacing pretty much all the lights in the borough.  The new columns focus the light down onto the road and where necessary additional columns will be installed so lighting levels across the borough will improve.  This is great news - not only should it make our roads safer but it will deter some crime and make people feel safer.  As well as replacing streetlights, Skanska are replacing the underground cable network in much of the borough and this will make it much easier to identify faults and to raise or lower the lighting levels in particular areas at particular times of the day if required.

As the MP for New Addington, I am delighted that the replacement work has started there.  All too often in the past, New Addington has been overlooked - it’s great to see this Council giving it priority.  In terms of the other areas that I represent, the provisional plan is that most of Shirley and part of Addiscombe will be done in the first half of next year, the rest of Addiscombe, Woodside, Park Hill and Croydon town centre in 2013/14 and upper Shirley, Addington Village, Forestdale and Monks Hill in 2014/15.

Litter pick in Ashburton Park

Tomorrow morning, the volunteer litter picking team I have recruited will be out in Ashburton Park.  If you would like to join us - it’s one small way to make Croydon a better place to live - we are meeting at 10.30am at the car park off Tenterden Road.

Gavin Barwell
MP for Croydon Central

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Carpetright part 4

Since my last post on the subject of Carpetright, I have received a Cheque for £30 from Mr Dick Woof the Head of Consumer Affairs and the following letter from  their Operations Director who we will call Ms Manycreams:


Dear Mr Bunny Chow,


Thank you for your emails to Mr Dick Woof regarding your carpet order and estimate. I have spoken to Mr Dick Woof this morning and understand that he called you following your email and was able to explain the situation more clearly over the phone.


I would like you to know that we do take complaints like this very seriously and that as a Board we look at feedback like yours to ensure that we help the stores give the best possible service. I am very sorry that the store left you feeling misled and badly treated and I hope you have been reassured that this is not our normal practice. The issues regarding the stores processes and behaviour are being dealt with to ensure that no other customer feels the same way, and I am grateful to you for alerting us to the problems.


I hope this now answers your complaint, but please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any further queries.


Yours sincerely


Ms Manycreams
Operations Director UK


As she invited me to I have taken the time to respond to her.


Good Evening Ms Manycreams,

Thank you for taking the time to write to me, I have indeed had communications from Mr Dick Woof and a cheque for £30 yet I note with disappointment that we still have not received the stain guarantee for the carpets as promised by Mr Smarmy in the store and the gentleman who actually fitted our carpets.

I am genuinely surprised that despite having been forced to complain to such a high level your organisation has not seen fit to ensure that their administration is in order.

I look forward to hearing from you and receiving this guarantee as soon as possible.

Yours Sincerely

Mr Bunny Chow

I'll keep you all posted as this unfolds further

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

my geeky side

interesting to see the break down of how you my dear readers are viewing my blog this week.

I'm amazed how many of you are still using internet explorer.

Are you checking out my blog in the office where you don't have a choice?

Chrome ahead of Firefox, again I'm surprised although I approve.

I must confess I'm also suprised how many of you are using iPhones over Android, I am an iPhone guy but I would have thought would be much closer than that.

Pageviews by Browsers

Internet Explorer  273 (36%) Mobile   210 (27%) Chrome   77 (10%) Firefox   75 (9%) Mobile Safari   63 (8%) Safari   36 (4%) Opera  16 (2%) chromeframe   4 (<1%) NetFront   2 (<1%) Version   1 (<1%)

Pageviews by Operating Systems

Windows    410 (53%) iPhone    227 (29%) Android    60 (7%) Macintosh    25 (3%) Linux   15 (1%) BlackBerry   12 (1%) iPad   8 (1%) SonyEricsson    2 (<1%) Nokia   1 (<1%)

Message from Gavin Barwell

Dear Mr Bunny Chow,

On Sunday 18th September, I will be doing my annual sponsored walk around the boundary of my constituency, a total of around 16 miles. This year I am raising money for Croydon Crossroads, a great local charity that supports carers (they provided outstanding support to my Mum when my Dad was sick with Alzheimer’s).

If you’d like to sponsor me, you can do so at http://www.justgiving.com/gavinbarwellmp2011 or by sending a cheque made payable to “Croydon Crossroads Ltd” to 133 Wickham Road, Croydon CR0 8TE.  And if anyone would like to join me for part (or even all!) of the walk, some company would be much appreciated.

Many thanks
Gavin
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Being Dad part 3

So I've terrified the life out of a lot of you my dear readers, sorry about that, I know that in the cold hard format of print my last post came across as shocking and terrifying, I know that it would have scared the bejesus out of me.

Whilst I believe in honesty, which is why I gave it to you warts and all, it was no intended in any way to put you off having kids yourself. Childbirth is something that all mammalian life goes through and as much as we have been sheltered from the realities it is still a beautiful thing. Mrs Bunny Chow went through living hell bringing Monkey Boy into this world, yet we have bounced back and are about to do it all over again.

I'm going to continue now following some sort of timeline and again going over the highs and lows that surround being a father and to some extent a parent in general. I'm not going to discuss boobs, breast feeding or anything that falls outside of the role of the father other than to say, that we are expected to be of some assistance in this regard, fetching and carrying, drinks, back rubs etc. etc. I will say now for the record I was hopeless at this.

Mrs Bunny Chow breast feeding I could just about cope with, but when friends and others have whipped out their boobs and begun feeding their kids in my presence I did all I could to avoid running from the room screaming. I know it's natural and all ladies have them and will even admit that I quite like a boob but when people you know whip 'em out I make my excuses and make tea.

Anyway I said I wasn't going to talk about mystic Mother stuff so I'll go back to talking about the role of the father as I interpret it. After Monkey Boy was born and Mrs Bunny Chow was settled into the nursing wing with him I was summarily dismissed.

I drove across a cold dark, South London, slower and more carefully than I ever have, I felt overwhelmed, terrified, I was responsible for this cute, squashed, little being and had had the tiniest role in supporting Mrs Bunny Chow bring this tiny fragile little boy into this world. I knew in my heart that I knew nothing about how to care for this little scrap of humanity and that all the books I'd read had left me helplessly unprepared, but I also knew that people have been bringing babies into the world for millennia and had coped in much tougher conditions than we were expecting to and a glimmer of confidence returned.

Ouma and Oupa Bunny Chow were waiting expectantly for me when I arrived home in the early hours of the morning. It was time for that beer I'd been craving for days. I was exhausted but elated, both of my parents got up, Oupa and I had our breakfast beer and I had the happy job of phoning the extended relatives around the world. I had another been and then a third for good luck before crashing into the sleep of the dead for a few hours.

I don't recall much about the rest of that day but know that I returned to the hospital at about lunchtime, we paid some people to take a couple of photo's of the Monkey Boy and were allowed to take him and Mrs Bunny Chow at about eight in the evening. There was still snow on the ground and we wrapped Monkey up in a snow suit that made him look like a tiny blue starfish before carrying him in his shiny new car seat out to the car. 

Whilst on this subject, all car seats are stupid and badly designed, I am of the firm belief that they are made this way so that your child will have an early exposure to their fathers colourful vocabulary. I dislike them intensely but I digress. Monkey Boy and Mrs Bunny Chow were installed in the car and I once again crossed South London at a snails pace.

Even in those early days of sleepless nights I remember thinking that it wasn't as bad as I'd been expecting, you adapt, you cope. Yes babies cry, yes you have to deal with nappies, but they really are not as bad as you think they will be. Once the Meconium is done (remember that first poo mentioned in my last essay) their excrement smells a bit cheesy and resembles a Korma with Almonds. I can't speak for girls but wow do you have to be careful of little boys hosepipes when they are unhinged though. We had a couple of early accidents more down to our lack of skill than anything at fault with the child, but these were easily resolved with clean sheets a bit of extra laundry and we were good to go again.

Small babies don't do very much other than cuddle, wail and eat so I won't go into too many hints and tips, they progress into being little people slowly so you have plenty of practice as they learn, first the can lift their heads, then they can roll over, then they can eat a bit of real food and their nappies become less pleasant, but because you've been softened up by the early easy ones you cope without too much difficulty.

There are moments of huge excitement when they give you that first smile, then you get the giggles when they giggle at you, each step along the way is fascinating, every day they do something new to make you fall even deeper in love with them than you would ever have believed possible.

Mrs Bunny Chow has been an incredible inspiration to me throughout it all, she has always been there for him, she has been a figure of calm when he's screamed blue murder at the indignities of being changed, she's soldiered on the the middle of the night when I have given in to exhaustion and given me the inspiration to be a better father.

So in conclusion regardless of the difficulties and the scary times, being a parent is the most amazing thing I have ever done or expect to do. Kids make your world and all those things you think you'll miss out on because of them pale into insignificance in comparison to them, even beer!

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow.



 

Zen and The Art of Fly-Fishing

I didn't write this but boy did it bring back a few memories. It came to me via Time Magazine so they get the credit.

Fly-fishing for trout is an undemocratic sport. It takes intelligence and skill to learn, a healthy income to afford and plenty of free time to practice. Though bait fishermen scoff that snobs use flies as an excuse to keep worm and minnow goo off their hands, fly-fishermen approach the sport with an almost mystical reverence. Perhaps that's because learning to catch trout is a complex process bordering on religion. Yet it is one of the fastest-growing sports in the U.S., now embraced by nearly 500,000 fisherpeople.
It is in some ways a dangerous sport too, but less for the fish than for the angler's relatives. Fly-fishermen can quickly become world-class bores. Solitude becomes an end in itself. Spouses bristle at the suggestion that family vacations should consist of two weeks at some bug-infested fishing camp in Forsaken, Mont. Dinner-party invitations trail off as conversation seems to center on the pleasures of fishing nymphs in deep riffles or the relative merits of bamboo and graphite fly rods. Children growl at the proposal that the backyard pool be returned to nature and converted to a trout pond.
To the uninitiated, the sport may seem ridiculously simple: take a long pole ; with a line, attach a fake bug and toss it at some unsuspecting fish. But the disciplines involved in this seemingly simple act take years to master. Novices often quit in disgust or spend hours on the river, pleading to heaven for the strike of just one trout. Eventually, with practice, the casts begin to land right, without a splash, and then one day a trout rises to examine the offering -- and strikes.
With split-second timing, the rod tip is lifted and the battle begun. Since the fly is attached to the line with a gossamer-thin tippet, a fisherman must use the long, sensitive rod to tire the trout as it surges and runs, leaps and sometimes literally walks across the water's surface on its tail. There is no mistaking this magic. The fish explodes again, up through a silver shower of water, shaking its head in an effort to throw the hook. You notice the color. It is gorgeous, almost surreal. The trout's meaty flanks sport outrageous spots of black and orange, horizontal streaks of silver and red. The line rips through the water, sending signals directly to your pounding heart. Your ears ring.
As the fish tires, you draw it close to your leg, remove the hook and hold the trout for a moment, gauging its length before giving it back to the stream. That too is part of the sport. When waters were cleaner and trout spawned nearly everywhere, killing and eating the fish were a more common reward for the catch. But a generation raised on conservation ethics is releasing fish to reproduce and perhaps be caught again. Our atavistic selves relish the hunt, but our better natures understand the need to protect what we cherish. Fly-fishing lets us do both.

After the first catch comes the tough part: waiting for the next one. It can take months of beating the waters before it happens again, and the anticipation can be painful. The novice consoles himself by turning to books. Few other sports have been written about so thoroughly by so many authors, from Izaak Walton to Ernest Hemingway and Tom McGuane. You search for what fathers or uncles in an earlier generation used to pass down over dinner tables or around campfires: secrets of the water, hints about how to read streams and tread them lightly, how to intuit the mysterious nature of the wild trout.
The apprenticeship is not over, not yet. One day some fisherman with a pipe stands in the stream nearby releasing fish and announces that the trout are hitting bugs with an unpronounceable Latin name. You nod but don't know what he's talking about. Then back to the books for a quick course on streamside biology, matching the hatch, figuring out what the trout is eating and which artificial flies imitate those insects. Armed with a little entomology and inflamed with trout psychosis, you start buying everything that countless catalogs offer: stream thermometers, a flashlight for nighttime fishing, hook- sharpening files, dozens of flies no fish has ever seen.
Catching trout comes quicker now; on a good day perhaps six, even ten, get landed. You adopt rituals, preferring certain flies that bring you luck and that your friends use successfully. Gear gets stowed in familiar pockets as your fishing vest softens and fades with age. It is a delicate time, for as the addiction grows, the fish begin to invade your thoughts and dreams. At unpredictable moments the fisherman's mind fills with images of wide water, where brown trout hit large dry flies and pull long and hard.
If the fly-fisherman is lucky, the passion becomes manageable, second nature, like tying knots in the dark or reading a deep green pool by an undercut bank and knowing where the trout are holding and which fly to use. But having gone through the novitiate, fly-fishermen are never the same again. They scan rivers and lakes, seeing water but imagining the life underneath. They concentrate for hours, zenlike, watching thunderheads build and billow above, gazing at streams running over moss-covered rocks, searching for the sight of a trout, that near perfect fish, as it fins and darts, drifts and feeds in clear mountain water. Those visions take hold and simply won't let go.

Being Dad part 2

In this installment I plan to write about the actual process of having a baby from a dad's perspective.

I'll open with a disclaimer "Ladies and Mrs Bunny Chow you may read on under the understanding that I wholeheartedly agree that you got the worst part of this deal and have it a lot tougher than us, we are soft and simple creatures and just wanted to put my perspective out there as I saw it through my eyes."

Disclaimer two. "Do not read on if you are squeamish"

Phew with that out of the way, I mentioned in my earlier essay that as a simple and caring creature, I tend to panic and worry about the well being of Mrs Bunny Chow, this I freely admit did cause some tension whilst waiting for the arrival of Monkey Boy. The amount of snow and the fact that our chosen hospital was on the other side of London didn't help, but looking back I should have trusted Mrs Bunny Chow's intuition and not insisted that we visit the hospital every time she started having contractions.

Speaking of contractions nobody warns you that they can come and go for weeks in advance of the main event, years of badly made television and films have been based around the premise of, Oh dear she's having a baby it's now time for the big race to get her to a doctor in time. Antenatal lessons and some of your reading materials will point out that in most cases and certainly ours there is plenty of time between the start of the process and the wailing little bundle of joy at the end of the process.

It's hard to brake those preconceptions that the media has foisted on us though so I urge you not to be like I was and panic at every twinge, trust your beloveds intuition and if necessary remove yourself, play with your PlayStation, go to church, go shopping, actually don't go shopping, you will be emotional and come home with cuddly toys that you don't need, I did. Just get yourself somewhere where you can calm down and even if it doesn't calm your anxiety at least you won't be increasing hers.

When the time came for us to eventually go to the hospital, Mrs Bunny Chow had already been having strong contractions for nearly twenty hours, she was using a TENS machine which I'd heartily recommend, but our initial plan had been for us to try a water birth and if possible avoid drugs even though we were open to them if needed so we presented ourselves to the birthing unit of St Georges Hospital in the middle of the night for them to submit Mrs Bunny Chow to many indignities. These included examinations to check dilation as well as lots of the usual hospital type test, blood pressure etc. etc., and strapping her into a machine to measure her contractions.

Convinced that nothing much was happening they persuaded Mrs Bunny Chow that some sleep would do her the world of good and administered a shot of Pethidine which had the desired effect of allowing her some rest and me to bed down on a mattress on the floor for a few hours of much needed rest. I'm not sure how long she got but I managed a couple of hours interspersed with mutterings of my lack of consideration and exclamations of you got me into this state you can stay awake with me. For the most part though she was pretty considerate given the circumstances.

Come the morning and another round of examinations we had the aforementioned suggestion that we go home and I had my moment of madness where I explained how that was not going to happen. They did capitulate though and instead moved us to the general labour ward where it was decided that they would get things progressing artificially. They did this by using what I can best describe as a plastic crochet hook to reach into Mrs Bunny Chow's womb and break the waters. This was obviously excruciatingly painful for Mrs Bunny Chow so they gave her gas and air otherwise known as Entonox or laughing gas to help ease things. This didn't have the desired effect though and caused her to begin vomiting.

As we were now going down the intervention route a foetal heat monitor was attached to Monkey Boy's scalp and Mrs Bunny Chow was given pain relief in the form of an epidural to the spine (yes it's a bloody big needle) as well as being attached to the contraction monitor machine again and the indignity of a catheter and being confined to bed. She was also given an artificial hormone supposed to speed up the process and encourage dilation.

Despite these many indignities the epidural greatly improved Mrs Bunny Chow's demeanor and comfort allowing us both to get some rest if not any sleep. I even managed to pop home and shower, before heading back to the hospital via the cuddly toy shop again.

As midnight of our second night in hospital loomed ever closer another intrusive examination was carried out by yet another midwife who said that Mrs Bunny Chow still wasn't dilating sufficiently but suggested that she get a second opinion from the consultant obstetrician. He promptly arrived and said actually things were about to happen. Suddenly all chaos broke loose, the room filled with important looking people, the obstetrician put on a face mask that I kid you not resembled something that would be worn by an Ice Hockey Goalie. The end of the bed was removed and Mrs Bunny Chow was forced to assume the classic movie position with her legs in stirrups.

Mr Obstetrician took up his position between Mrs Bunny Chow's thighs and after about ten minutes of grunting groaning and swearing with his hands in my beloved Mrs Bunny Chow's crotch the obstetrician called for the Ventouse Device which is best described as a small sink plunger that they attach to the baby's scull to allow them to pull. After a minute or two of this yanking there was a terrifying sucking noise as the Ventouse detached itself and came flying out as speed, broken as it whacked against Mrs Bunny Chows inner thigh.

Having given up with the now broken Ventouse Device Mr Obstetrician called for the forceps. Again I am not writing for dramatic effect here but these resembled the biggest salad tongs you have ever seen. I'm told that they cause no lasting harm to the baby but holy cow are they big and do they look evil.

At this stage I was asked to move from my position at Mrs Bunny Chows head end to the other side of the bed to allow the Obstetrician a better view of all the monitors. The only way to facilitate this move was to walk round the business end and as I passed I couldn't help but have a look at what was going on down there. It is a moment I will never forget and whilst I don't regret having a look I certainly would recommend that the head end is definitely where you want to be.

The forceps of evil obviously did their job as intended though as within minutes Monkey Boy was brought kicking and screaming into the world.

From here I was taken off to the other side of the room with the paediatrician to check Monkey Boy out, gasp at the size of his scrotum (I later learned that this is because of raging hormones and not my influence) and check he had the right numbers of fingers, toes etc, before cleaning up his meconium (first poo) and putting him in his first nappy and clothes.

I'll write more about the aftermath of this momentous occasion another time so for now.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Being Dad part 1

With the impending new arrival, I thought I'd write a few bits that I learned from the first time round.

Firstly, there are plenty of books, blogs, hints and tips out there, read them but treat them all with a healthy dose of "so that was your way of doing things." There are no hard and fast rules and what works for some people might not work for you. The biggest tip I can give is to be open and relaxed.

Enjoy, the baby making, don't constantly think that putting more effort into your bonking is going to make a stronger baby etc. etc. enjoy the time with your partner and don't stress when it doesn't happen right away but again don't be surprised if it does. I've experienced both sides of the coin and can honestly say that your mother was right it only takes once, but I can also speak as someone who experienced the heartache and confusion of failed pregnancies, the disappointment when another month went by with nothing.

One of the hardest things to deal with as a bloke is that you are no longer part of the equation, all focus is now on Mrs You and that is tough especially when things are not going to plan. For this reason I would whole heartedly recommend getting involved in some sort of Ante-Natal classes, much like the books treat it as a OK so that's your way but take advantage of meeting other couples at similar stages of the game to you. We chose the NTC as one of the bigger ones but I'm sure they are all pretty similar in layout.

It's really nice to have a core of other blokes all feeling as nervous as you and really excited to have another person who won't think them a wimp for wanting to talk. plus it's a good excuse to go for a beer afterwards.

If possible try and go on a babymoon together, get used to drinking alone or abstaining altogether though, and don't on pain of death assume that her not drinking creates a catch all excuse for her being the designated driver for the next nine months.

Whilst on the subject of nine months, they lie, it's forty weeks which however you break it down does not add up to nine months. You will be reminded of this at length throughout as your beloved becomes bigger and grumpier, smile, nod, empathise.

Nookie, maybe, maybe not, he choice, she's a pressure cooker of raging hormones, think back to being a teenager, actually no don't, but the floods of hormones will be similar and she's allowed to be moody, horny, weepy, cuddly and or evil, possibly all of these emotions will happen within minutes and as a man we have to accept these things. So in short, good luck I hope you do but if you don't tough. I come back to my earlier point of enjoy bonking while you're trying because you never know when you're next gonna get it.

As the end of life as you know it approaches, remember to keep sober, have plenty of change for hospital car parks and if possible try not to panic. This is not something I'm very good at. When Mrs Bunny Chow went into labour with Monkey Boy, it had been snowing, it was the middle of the night, we were both exhausted and I was struggling to control my emotions. Mrs Bunny Chow was a champion but when after a night in hospital and not a lot happening except lots of pain for her, they suggested that we should go home and wait some more. I very impolitely explained to the hospital staff that they were more than welcome to wheel Mrs Bunny Chow out into the snow strewn car park but that I was taking her nowhere.

They were pretty good about this and did agree to let her stay.

I'll write further updates of my experiences with both Monkey boy and the impending in the coming days but in the mean time here are a couple of books worth reading.

firstly

it's a bit lad humourish but easy reading for those of you who aren't big book people.

next

A fantastic book, written primarily for mums but hilarious and informative.

Finally

this series of books are brilliant, they are written in a no nonsense style and just give you how it is without rubbing their opinions in your face.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

More stuff we need

So the preparations for our impending new arrival continue apace.

the following aren't really baby items but things we need to get the house ready.

Our shredder isn't really up to the job of coping with the amount of junk mail we receive and in these security concious times I feel it's prudent to get rid of it all so an incinerator is the first thing on the list, anyway what man doesn't like fire.

It will also be useful for getting rid of garden waste.



Next on the shopping list is a new cat flap as our monsters have managed to destroy another one and the local bullying tom cat keeps coming and stealing their food.




will keep updating as we get more organised.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Book Reviews

I've now read half a dozen or so of Duncan Falconer's books and thoroughly enjoyed them all. This latest one Pirate is not significantly different from the others they are not the most intellectual of reads coming from the same vein as Chris Ryan and Andy Macnab one hard special forces operative against improbable odds taking on the bad guys but I like the supension of belief and escapism that these sort of books provide.

Falconer's central character is in the Special Boat Service based out of Poole and holds the normal SAS types of these types of novel in some contempt which is amusing.

anyway enough of my waffling buy this book if you like this sort of thing.



TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Something Missing?

You may have noticed that my previous rant missed out on the other several other scourges of our roads and I will attempt to address some of them below.

Firstly in my previous essay I deliberately left out the most dangerous and annoying of all the small hatchbacks, namely the Estate Agents fashion machine, these used to all be New Mini's but of late have diversified to include the Fiat 500, Citroen DS3 and occasionally the diesel Golf. I've even seen that they've begun to drive so called crossover vehicles like the Nissan Puke and Quashiwashi or whatever it's called. Now whilst these vehicles may be considered to be a nuisance to other drivers, the main reason for them being omitted was in fact that as Estate Agents they fall into a category far more dangerous than that of the bad driver and I generally do my best to forget their very existence whenever possible.

Next missing from the list is the people carrier, and these fall into two categories, Addison Lee and their large fleet of Black Ford Galaxies. I refuse to comment any further on these lest I do damage to my computer or myself.

Then there are the hoards of aging Toyota's and Mitsubishi's with names I can't be bothered to remember and stickers giving them away as mini cabs. I know these again to be good vehicles that will do a million miles without grumbling, my own father owns one for that very reason, they go on forever which in a crumbling impoverished African dictatorship with no access to spares this means something. In London they are only there so that they can ferry the drunken, vommiting hoards home from Croydon on Friday and Saturday nights.

Personally I would prefer that these hoards stayed home in their council estates on Friday and Saturday nights to lessen their chances of finding a mate and breeding, so in my world they too would be banned.

I'm sure there are others on the roads who get my goat but my blood pressure is already high enough.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow.

why oh why?

I'd like to begin today's essay with a couple of disclaimers.

Firstly I am fully aware that as the owner/driver of a large automobile from Ingolstadt I am prone to driving far too close to the vehicle in front, flashing my lights and wondering what that extra lever on the steering column that makes green arrows blink on the dashboard when I press it is for.

I am also an avowed fan of the hatchback as a sensible form of transport and consider many of the below to be excellent choices for the man or lady about town who requires a simple inexpensive way of getting from A to B.

No my rant is directed not at the hatchback, but the owners of far too many of these vehicles.

I am going to name and shame some of the worst offending choices.

The Nissan Micra is a great little car and a perfectly sensible and practical hatchback if a little dull. Why oh why then are they nearly all driven by complete imbeciles? I've certainly never seen a boy racer in one and struggle to think of a time when I have seen one driven with anything even remotely resembling some level of thought for it's surroundings.

The Vauxhall Corsa on the other hand is a hateful machine and I implore every single one of you my dear readers to do everything in your power to run them off the road at every opportunity, they are all owned and driven by either the ancient and infirm or oiks in back to front baseball caps.

I believe that the Koreans now make perfectly acceptable vehicles but without exception I am yet to see anything with a Kia or Hyundai badge being driven in a safe and sensible manner and again implore you to avail yourself of any opportunity to confiscate the drivers licence of anyone behind the wheel of one of these pesky little hate boxes.

The small French hatchback is a strange beast too, if they are very small they tend to bare French licence plates and carry the scars of many a battle with larger machines as they race away in a voluminous blue cloud created in equal parts by Gauloises and diesel. I'd recommend approaching these vehicles with caution. The alternatives seem to be little old blue rinsers who seem to have become lost en route to the Vauxhall/Nissan/Kia/Hyundai dealership and should have their licences confiscated or they are being Peugeot's being driven by young ladies who are more interested in doing their make up and nails than their immediate surroundings or concentrating on unimportant things like where they are going. I state again the small French hatchback is a strange beast but dangerous in almost all forms.

The Japanese make some excellent fun and practical little cars (the Nissan Micra is made in the North East of England and I don't count it here) yet still far too many of these great little cars are adopted by the blue rinse brigade and their incontinent partners. The Honda Jazz is a lovely if slightly uninspiring little car, The Toyota Yaris similarly so, yet why oh why was I on this very morning forced to follow a Toyota Yaris for several interminable miles at an excruciatingly painful twenty four miles an hour. At several points I came over all Audi and was forced to attempt tailgating and flashing my lights in a failed attempt to get the young lady behind the wheel to realise that she was holding up a tailback of near biblical proportions.

I have no idea what actually goes through the minds of such people under these circumstances, although I suspect it to be very little as they seem to have very little excess capacity for anything other than the basic function of breathing.

I pray every day that my progeny will not become these people we are forced to share the road with but at the very least I shall insist that they read the following publications.



Followed by



TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Book Reviews

I have just finished reading Wilbur Smith's Elephant Song.

As a Zimbabwean I should love Wilbur Smith's books but for some reason despite many attempts I have often struggled with his writing style. With that in mind I approached this book with some trepidation, but I needn't have been concerened Elephant Song grips you from the very begining, the characters are strong and well thought out. The descriptions of the landscapes beautifully rendered in your mind and the tale does not let up. 500+ pages dissapeared in next to no time leaving me wanting more.

Highly Recommended.

more messages from Gavin Barwell

Dear Mr Bunny Chow,

Thank you for all your further feedback about last week’s disgraceful looting and arson. It’s been great to see Croydon police making so many arrests and the courts at last punishing people appropriately. I hope you don’t mind me bothering you again with three pleas for help:

Helping Croydon get back on its feet

Hundreds of you have asked what you can do to help Croydon get back on its feet. The recent events have left many small businesses struggling and even the large high street stores have seen a reduction in footfall. This weekend the best thing you can do is head into Croydon town centre and spend some money. I will be doing just that with my family on Saturday. The Mayor of London and the Council have announced a range of offers for Saturday and Sunday including:

·         free tram travel over the weekend;

·         free parking on-street and in surface car parks throughout the town centre, including South End and London Road;

·         discounted £2 all-day parking at Whitgift, Centrale and Allders car park;

·         free children’s play area at Beanies (Saturday only); and

·         free face painting at Croydon Visitor Centre (Saturday only).

·          

For more weekend discounts in Croydon, click here. 

Even before last week’s events, many people had stopped going to the town centre. It’s time we reclaimed it. Both the Government and the Mayor have this week announced help for Croydon but ultimately the future of our town centre lies in our hands.

For a full list of other ways to help or get involved in rebuilding Croydon, click here. 

Please forward this to your neighbours and friends in the Croydon area.

Sponsored walk

On Sunday 18^th September, I will be doing my annual sponsored walk around the border of the constituency – a total of around 16 miles. This year I am raising money for Croydon Crossroads, a great local charity that supports carers (they provided outstanding support to my Mum when my Dad was sick with Alzheimer’s). If you’d like to sponsor me, you can do so by clicking here or send a cheque made payable to “Croydon Crossroads Ltd” to 133 Wickham Road, Croydon CR0 8TE.

Delivering surveys

I had planned to spend the last two weeks delivering the survey I am distributing to every family in the constituency asking for feedback on how I could do a better job (some of you will have received this already but I have still to deliver it to over a quarter of the constituency) – but obviously responding to last Monday’s rioting has taken up all my time.

If you would be prepared to deliver a hundred or so surveys, you can either meet me outside the Addington Community Association at 10am on Saturday 20^th August or, if you’re not free on Saturday morning but would be prepared to help at another time, let me know and I’ll get the surveys to you. I would be really grateful to anyone who could help.


Gavin Barwell
MP for Croydon Central



If this message has been forwarded to you and you wish to be added to Gavin Barwell MP’s mailing list, or alternatively if you no longer wish to receive these emails, please email jennifer.clark@parliament.uk.

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got to love the yanks lifted wholesale from outdoorlife magazine

August 17, 2011

New Mossberg Thunder Ranch Pump

There was no way we could avoid images from the recent excitement in London where hordes of mentally challenged Britons decided to express their dissatisfaction with the government by ruining the livelihoods of people like this elderly barber.

My seven-year-old son was trying to wrap his head around the riots and decided that it wasn’t something we’d have to face in Montana. His logic? “That can’t happen here because, technically, everyone in Bozeman has a pump-action shotgun,” he said.

So, yes, my son has more sense in his curly-headed skull than the spineless authorities in London who were wringing their hands about whether it was okay to spray the looters with water.

If you don’t have a pump-action shotgun for personal defense you might want to take a look at this new gun from Mossberg. It is based on the tried-and-true 500 action and was designed in conjunction with legendary badass and firearms instructor Clint Smith who runs the Thunder Ranch training facilities.
It doesn’t cost much—it lists for $460—and it has a 5+1 capacity in 12 gauge with an 18.5-inch barrel. And the aggressive “come-along” teeth on the muzzle-break are perfect for getting the attention of any looter you come across on your property.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Message from Croydon MP Gavin Barwell

Please see the below email from Gavin and get in touch with him if you can help.

his email address is gavin.barwell.mp@parliament.uk

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

__________________________________________________

Dear Mr Bunny Chow,

Like me, I am sure you were both saddened and angered by the looting and arson we saw a week ago on Monday.  I have spent the last ten days lobbying for more police officers on our streets, a more robust style of policing, prompt action to catch those responsible, tough punishment for those found guilty, compensation for the families and businesses affected and help from the Mayor and the Government to regenerate our town as well as meetings constituent and businesses, dealing with a huge volume of email and being interviewed by more TV and radio stations than I care to remember.

My plan had been to spend these two weeks delivering the remainder of my survey asking people how I am doing as their MP.  About a quarter of the constituency is still to be delivered and if we don't get it done quickly it is going to look strange that the letter doesn't refer to the riot.  I am therefore emailing to ask for your help.  Could you deliver a couple of hundred over the next week?  If so, you can either meet me outside the Addington Community Association at 10am on Saturday or pick some up from the office next week.  Please let me know if you can do either so I have sufficient prepared.

Many thanks in anticipation - I wouldn't ask over the holiday period if I wasn't really desperate.

Gavin

Carpetright part 3

Since my post earlier today Mr Dick Woof had a change of heart.

This may have something to do with my final communication copying in their board of Directors or perhaps not

He called me on the telephone, was very apologetic and confirmed that they had not followed their own policies and procedures and that although he was unable to comment on the actions being taken against Mr Smarmy and his team he assured me that steps were being put in place to ensure future customers are not treated in the manner which Mrs Bunny Chow and myself were treated. He also explained that as a corporation they were looking towards ways of giving customers the choice of being less wasteful when ordering carpet, even if in some cases this may be more expensive due to manuafacturing processes at least we would have the choice.

Carpetright are also looking at options to recycle waste carpet both new and used as opposed to their current policy of using landfill.

I agreed that following his grovelling we would accept the initially offered gesture of goodwill.

Following this telephone conversation I recieved the this email from Mr Dick Woof, which also copied in their Group HR Director.

 ___________________________________________________

Dear Bunny Chow

Thanks for taking the time to speak to me on the telephone when I called just now.

As promised, I would like to confirm our policy and practice when providing estimates to customers. Estimating is quite complicated, which is why we provide the service, but it is our policy and practice for the estimator to explain how the plan will be cut from the bulk carpet, where joins will be in the finished job (if any), the pile direction, and any other significant features about the carpet. There is space on the estimate form – as you will have seen – for the customer to sign to confirm this has been done.

It is clear from the copy I have of your estimate that you were not asked to give a signature and this confirms your comments that the estimate was not properly explained to you at the time.

As I said to you on the telephone, this is not acceptable and is being taken further, as is the attitude of the Manager and his comments to you which we would not condone.

It is my responsibility to ensure that stores give customers the best possible service and clearly in this instance they and I have let you down and on behalf of Carpetright I would like to confirm our apologies and give you our assurance that this is not our normal practice and we very much regret the problems you have had.

If I can be of any further help please feel free to contact me by email or on my direct line (as I'm feeling nice I wont publish this but let me know if you experience similar problems and I'll happily pass this on).

Yours sincerely
Dick Woof
Head of Consumer Affairs

Carpetright part 2

The below is a selection of communication between myself and Carpetrights head of consumer affairs.

Mr Makesthe-Rightnoises had previously offered us compensation of £30 which I refused and the below communications began.

I'll keep this thread updated as it unfolds,

Names have been edited for the purposes of privacy but there have been no edits made to the emails themselves.
___________________________________________________________________

Dear Mr Bunny Chow,

Thank you for your emails regarding the amount of carpet we supplied you to fulfil your order and the quantity of offcuts that have been left over. As you were clearly anxious to see something done about this quickly Mr Makesthe-Rightnoises referred the matter to me in Mr Awol's absence and I have enquired further.

I understand that you have now been given a copy of the estimate and I have now received and studied the same. In my view the way the carpet has been planned is correct, but because the width of the carpet is 4 metres there is a fair amount of wastage – the figure is actually approximately 35% - and this is unavoidable. Whilst this wastage is, on the estimate, spread across the various pieces in practice a fitter will have started from one side of the carpet leaving the waste as larger pieces rather than lots of smaller ones.

However to reduce the amount of carpet would mean that the quality of the finished job would be compromised.

I have noted your comments about the behaviour of Mr Smarmy. He has been spoken to and apologises for any offence he may have caused. The offer made by Mr Makesthe-Rightnoises was as a gesture of goodwill and under the circumstances and was just over 20% of the price of the carpet, which was the item you were querying.

I look forward to receiving your acceptance of this goodwill offer so that the refund can be processed as quickly as possible.

Yours sincerely Dick Woof
Head of Consumer Affairs
The information contained in this message and any attachments is confidential, may be privileged, and is intended for the use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed. If you, the reader of this message, are not the intended recipient, you are expressly prohibited from disclosing any of the information contained in this message and/or any attachment.

Carpetright plc operates an anti-virus programme. We would advise however that you carry out your own virus checks before opening any attachment as we cannot accept liability for any damage sustained as a result of software viruses unless such damage is caused by our negligence.

For more information on Carpetright plc please visit our website at http://www.carpetright.co.uk/
Carpetright plc – a company registered in England under number 2294875.
Registered office : Carpetright plc, Harris House, Purfleet Bypass, Purfleet, Essex RM19 1TT.

___________________________________________________________________

Good Morning Mr Dick Woof,

I apologise that you appear to have misunderstood the motivation behind our complaint completely.

Our dissatisfaction stems from the fact that at no point during the ordering process was it explained to us that as we were carpeting stairs rather than a room, we would require so much excess carpet, and that when we queried this after the fact we were treated appallingly by the management of your branch.

Had it been explained to us that there was such a high level of waste involved (35% according to your email), we could have made an informed decision and either gone ahead, sought out a source of carpet that came in a narrower width or even an offcut that would have met our needs.

There has been a fundamental lack of service to us as customers and Mr Makesthe-Rightnoise's gesture of goodwill as you have called it in no way compensates us for the treatment we experienced at the hands of Mr Smarmy or the delayed responses from Mr Makesthe-Rightnoises, nor does it make up for the 35% of extra carpet we were unwittingly conned into purchasing.

Now that I have put my complaint more clearly I look forward to hearing from you with a more thought out response.

Yours sincerely

Mr Bunny Chow

___________________________________________________________________

Dear Mr Bunny Chow

Thanks for your reply.

I’m sorry that we did not make things clear enough for you, but as all carpets come in 4 metre widths (the only alternative is 5 metres) it would not have been possible to reduce the wastage for you by finding a narrower carpet and the deal we gave you was better than the deal available on many offcuts/remnants so you really have got good value and have not been conned.

Under the circumstances I will ask Mr Makesthe-Rightnoises to process the refund to bring this matter to a close and I am sorry for the disappointment you feel.

Yours sincerely
Dick Woof
Head of Consumer Affairs

___________________________________________________________________

Dear Mr Dick Woof,

I find the below (above on this blog but you get the idea) response insulting to my inteligence and perhaps you should have put some thought into it as suggested in my previous email.

30 seconds research on google found me several UK manufacturers including, Abindon Carpets who supply carpets in 1m, 2m, 3m, 4m and 5m widths Creation Ossfloor offer carpets in 2m, 3m, 4m and 5m widths, Bond Worth Carpets offer carpets in 0.69m, 0.91m, 2.73m, 3.66m and 4.57m widths.

I'm sure that further research could easily reveal plenty more options.

We could also as we considered have forgone carpet and refinished the hardwood stairs that are underneath the carpet, but instead we placed our faith in your dishonest organisation.

Please can you put some thought into your response this time and let me know what steps you plan to put in place to ensure this level of dishonesty does not continue.

Please can you also give me the contact details of your manager.

Yours sincerely,

Mr Bunny Chow

___________________________________________________________________

Dear Mr Bunny Chow,

Thank you for your response. 

I am sorry that you feel we are being dishonest. The narrower width carpets are supplied for contract purposes and are priced at a premium to include the wastage costs.

If you would like to find a retailer who can provide you with a bona fide quote for a scheme based on a narrower width carpet that is lower than the price you have paid I will be pleased to review your file again.

Your file was referred to me as the Head of Consumer Affairs because I have the final say on matters relating to customers and customer service.

If you are unhappy with my response please take advice from Trading Standards who are independent and impartial and who would consider whether or not to prosecute this company under criminal legislation if they felt we had misled you or had otherwise breached our duties as responsible retailers.

Yours sincerely
Dick Woof
Head of Consumer Affairs

___________________________________________________________________

During this communication the local store has also been in touch with Mrs Bunny Chow to attempt to process the originally offered compensation of £30. Mrs Bunny Chow refused to give them her credit card details over the telephone and also explained that we have declined the compensation as so far offered.

___________________________________________________________________

Thank you Mr Dick Woof.

It's nice to see you keep with your charter of consumer responsibilities posted on your carpetright.plc.uk website to provide excellent customer service.  We have seen no evidence of this in our dealings with you.

I will be taking this matter forward with Trading Standards.

In the interim as you have refused to pass me the details of your manager, I have copied this communication in to the publically listed board of directors of your organisation.

Perhaps one of them will be more willing to explain your implied policy of deliberately misleading your customers into purchasing 35% more carpet than they actually require.

Regards

Mr Bunny Chow

___________________________________________________________________

We'll see where this one ends up

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Carpetright

We don't have much carpet in our house, in fact just the little bit in the stairwell but Carpetright have managed to make a hash of that.

We used their free estimate service and they measured up even though Mrs Bunny Chow was unimpressed at having to wait in for a full Saturday morning as they are incapable of giving time slots outside of Morning or Afternoon.

Still they came up with a reasonable quote so we agreed to go ahead and Mrs Bunny Chow made the order with a promise they'd call us to arrange an installation once they had our carpet in stock.

We declined their offer of removing the old carpet at a charge of £36 as this job only took me ten minutes it was a wise decision.

It took about a week and Mrs Bunny Chow arranged again to spend an entire Saturday morning at home, because they are still incapable of booking timed appointments.

I got home from work to a very agitated Mrs Bunny Chow who showed me the ridiculous levels of waste.

Now we both accept that in a room of unusual dimensions like a stairwell there will be some excess and that is something that you need to accept, but one of the offcuts is four square metres or 25% of the total order. There are numerous other smaller pieces which are what you, me or any other reasonable person would normally expect.

Being a man of action and immense bravery, I suggested we visit the local store where we placed the order asap which is what we did that very afternoon.

The first salesman we saw was very dismissive so thinking that he must just be a one off idiot, I asked to see the manager, where things progressed from bad to worse. Mr Smarmy as we'll call him used such fantastic soundbites as "my store, my rules" and "how many carpets have you fitted" Mr Smarmy refused to provide us with a copy of the plans they'd drawn up saying that they were his property as his staff had produced them and that under no circumstances would they consider refunding us for the 25% excess.

I have now been waiting two weeks for the plans to materialise after their Regional Manager who we'll call Mr Makesthe-Rightnoises, promised to send me a copy.

I have had to chase Mr Makesthe-Rightnoises once already without response and now today he has promised to have copies of the plans had delivered to the house. He has also said that he doesn't feel that Mr Smarmy refusing to accept my demands in store constitutes him being rude.

I will write a longer post soon, but needless to say I don't intend to accept 25% wastage which they seem to think is perfectly acceptable at over £20 a square metre, they are wrong.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Another idiot in my life

Our upstairs neighbour currently has their flat on the market and I've now come home two Saturdays in a row to find an estate agent parked in my driveway.

The first got a flea in his ear and a friendly reminder to let all of his colleagues know that they are not to park there. Needless to say I don't think the viewer bought the property as when I got home this Saturday there was a Barnard Marcus Golf taking up not only my parking space but parking in my other car and blocking the space allocated to the upstairs flat that they were showing.

Of course being the sensitive caring neighbour I explained loudly and voiciferously that I expected her to move her vehicle immediately. She then wandered back into the flat and said she'd be out in a minute she was just going to finish off the viewing, ummmmm no you're going to move your vehicle now.

Again I somehow doubt the young couple viewing are going to be buying the property.

I have now formally complained to the local branch of Barnard Marcus and to give credit where credit is due, that afternoon I recieved a message from the agent doing the viewing apologising for any inconvenience and the local branch manager has been in touch this morning to apologise and advise that she has let all of her team know where they can and can't park.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Stuff for the new Mini Bunny Chow

Obviously with a new baby on the way myself an Mrs Bunny Chow are having to go out and purchase a few new items.

With our two son's being so close in age we are able to recycle a lot of items but none the less we need to get a new Moses Basket Mattress.


a second nappy stacker so we have one for each of the different size nappies.


We've already purchased a double buggy off eBay which although huge and hideously ugly was only £35 and will have to do.

eBay was also our source for a nursing/rocking chair for Mum which at only a tenner was a complete bargain. It's very comfortable and should make those late night feeds just that little bit easier.


I'll keep you all posted as to how we get on.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Email from Gavin Barwell

The below is an email from our local conservitive MP for Croydon

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Dear Mr Bunny Chow,

Thank you to the hundreds of people who replied to the email I sent out on Tuesday with suggestions of what I should say if I was called to speak in yesterday's debate on the riots in the House of Commons.  Due to the huge number of people who responded, I wasn't able to reply to each one individually but I stayed up most of the night on Wednesday to read them all and I really appreciate everyone taking the time to let me have their views.

In the event, I was the first backbencher called to speak after the Home Secretary and Shadow Home Secretary, something that is unlikely to happen again (normally longer-serving MPs are called first and new arrivals like myself have to wait till later but on this occasion the Speaker kindly called those MPs whose constituencies who had been worst affected first).  If you're interested, you can watch my speech here (fast-forward to 5 hours 25 minutes).  I hope those of you who sent in suggestions feel I covered the points you raised - I had a 5 minute limit so it wasn't easy fitting everything in!

Before the debate, the Prime Minister made a statement to the House of Commons updating MPs on the Government's response to the riots.  He made a number of welcome announcements, addressing issues that many of you raised in your emails to me including:

·         work with the police, the intelligence services and industry to look at stopping people communicating via social media when we know they are plotting violence, disorder and criminality;

·         giving the police discretion to remove face coverings under any circumstances when there is reasonable suspicion they are related to criminal activity;

·         looking at whether any wider power of curfew is necessary;

·         confirming that any individual or business that has suffered damage to, or loss of, their property as a result of rioting can seek compensation under the Riot Damages Act even if uninsured, that the police will have the funds they need to pay these claims and that the deadline for claims will be extended to 42 days;

·         setting up a £20 million high street support scheme to help affected businesses get back up and running quickly;

·         instructing the Valuation Office to immediately stop liability for Council Tax and business rates for the houses and businesses that have been most badly damaged;

·         establishing a £10 million Recovery Scheme to help local councils make areas safe and clean; and

·         work on a cross-government programme to deal with gang culture.

If you're interested, you can read the Prime Minister’s full statement here.

Boris Johnson also announced a £50 million fund yesterday to help make major long term improvements to the capital’s town centres and high streets damaged by the recent disturbances.  You can read the details here.

Finally, as a small but visible sign of our solidarity in confronting the tiny minority who did such damage to our town on Monday, the Council have asked me to encourage you to 'like' the Facebook page ‘Support Croydon’s recovery’ by clicking here.

If I have the honour to go on representing Croydon in Parliament for many years to come, I hope I never have to go through another week like this week but if there is a silver lining to what happened it is that the vast majority of Croydonians of all ages and backgrounds are united that we have been too soft on those who break the law, too forgiving of those who show no respect for others and too indifferent to the divisions in our society.  The real Croydon is not the few hundred people who started fire and looted shops on Monday night but:

·         the outnumbered police officers, the firemen and ambulance crews who risked injury to try to help people;

·         the Council officers who worked overnight to insure the homeless were housed;

·         the thousands of people who have offered to help clean up or donated money to help businesses rebuild;

·         the businesses who have provided clothing for those who lost everything;

·         the people of New Addington who came out to defend their shopping parade; and

·         the decent majority who care about their town. 

It was a privilege to represent those people in Parliament yesterday.

Gavin Barwell
MP for Croydon Central

How service should work

I have recently sung the praises of the Courtney Boot Company in these pages and wish to continue in this vein.

When I was last home in Zimbabwe my father mentioned to me that the Courtney Boot Company offered a refurbishment service and as my boots had by that stage been neglected and abused for the best part of thirteen years as well as having walked many thousands of miles on several continents this sounded like a great idea and I agreed to leave them with him to organise.

Fast forward nearly a year and my parents are due to visit me here in the UK so I began to chase up my father for news of my precious boots. He didn't say as much but I gathered he'd done nothing about organising their refurb but quickly informed me that they'd been sent to the factory and he'd had a very reasonable quote of $50usd or £36gpb at the current exchange rate and I gave him the go ahead.

Considering that these boots cost a small fortune when new and that the refurbishment consisted of a full restitching of the tough elephant, buffalo and giraffe leather and replacement of the tough car tyre style soles I think that I've made a hell of a deal.

Being the geek that I am I was sitting at work during my lunch hour perusing the Courtney Boot Companies website www.courteneyboot.com/ as well as the websites of the London stockists www.westleyrichards.co.uk/Shop/Courteney-Boots I thought I'd fire off a couple of endorsement type emails of the boots themselves and the service offered. Both came back to me promptly thanking me for my kind words and the response from Gale Rice at the Bulawayo based factory was particularly thankful asking permission to use my email on their website which I of course agreed to and offering to send me a free cleaning kit.

I thanked Gale and explained that my boots were still with the factory and I was holding my fingers crossed they would be back with my parents in time to fly to the UK with them. Gale responded with the simple "I'll make sure that happens"

Two days later I had another email from Gale again thanking me again for my kind words and informing that my boots had left the factory along with the cleaning kit and were being returned to their Harare Stockists nearest my parents home for collection the very next day.

Now if a small company in deepest darkest Africa can provide that level of service and guarantee a customer for life, even though by making the boots so well in the first place I'm unlikely to need a new pair for another ten to fifteen years. Why is the rest of the world so incapable? Is the old way the best way?

If like me you like the finer things in life and expect them to last for your life, then I would highly recommend you invest in a pair of these simply styled, incredibly comfortable and tough boots, they will serve you well and you never know, in thirty years time you might need a second pair.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow